Poop is sacred

You didn't know this?  It is.  My child thinks so.  There is something terribly comfortable about pushing with all your might and feeling a warm presence against your cheeks.  The smell... the looks from other kids on the playground... they way it feels when it squishes against your body as you go down the slide... Ahh... poop.

Maia stood 2 inches from the toilet tonight, looked me square in the face (after farting up a storm) and told me she didn't have to poop.  As I went to take her diaper off and have her "try for Mama on the big girl potty", she pushed my hands away.  "No Mama, I don't have to go po-oop."  She grunted and pushed as she said it.  That little shit!  She doesn't have such little shits. 

So now what?  Here I am trying to get her to poop in the toilet because I am SO TIRED of cleaning that shit up!  Do I take off her diaper and set her on the toilet saying, "This is where you poop."?  She could get it all over the seat, she could touch it, she could wipe it all up her back.  Or do I eat my words (that is a terrible phrase to use in this moment), lay her down and clean her up like always?  I hate potty training.

Shit...

I put her on the toilet and she did all three as expected.  Because with Maia, nothing is ever easy.  She is a mess.  A stinky, shitty mess who I love so much it hurts.  I clean up her poop that is all on her cheeks, the toilet seat, up her back, on her fingers and all over the side of my hand (we are a talented group!).  I tell her "Good poop honey!" because I don't want the kid to have issues later where she can't go to the bathroom in public or feel embarred about the fact that she, along with everyone else, actually does poop.  We wash our hands - two times - then grab some candy.  I am sure I will see the remains of this Twix candy bar tomorrow between breakfast and lunch... some time around 11:00... when I am at the gym... with 8 minutes left on the stairmill...