You little LIAR!

Its 4:30pm and I am ready to go to bed.

However "with-it" and on top of stuff I may have sounded in my last post... IT'S ALL LIES!!  I am completely having ONE OF THOSE DAYS!  I lied about having my sh*t together, I lied about eating well, I lied about it all!!

Okay, maybe not all of it... but today I feel like the biggest liar and my pants are so on fire that even the hairs inside my ears are singed.  --SIGH!!!--

What is up?  I slept in this morning... my brood allowed me to sleep until 7:20 instead of the 6:01 wake-up call that typically happens on my days off.  Thank you!  I rolled out of bed and that's exactly what went wrong.  Don't these children know that Sunday is Mommy's day off?!  I shouldn't have to make waffles or watch Angelina Ballerina or change diapers or wear spit-up.  It's my day off!!  There should be absolutely no bowel movements that require assistance, no consumption of food that requires preparation, no voices on the television any higher than mine.  None. 

But when I rolled out of bed, it was a looooong roll because the other side was empty.  The man is saving lives today so that mean he is unavailable to save mine.  Actually, when I rolled out of bed, I had to roll over two children who came into bed with me, one due to nightmares (that conveniently only happen when Phil is at the fire station) and the other who loves to beat the sun into my room.

We hit the ground running.  Bottle for the endless tank with rice cereal mixed in simply because I cannot afford (on my reduced teacher's income) to go through TWO LARGE CONTAINERS of formula in one week.  The boy can eat.  I will have to turnin' tricks pretty soon if I want to keep him fed.  Next was breaking up the unending fights between our 7 yr. old and 2 yr. old.  Seriously.  They are ridiculous.  Sometimes I want to stand back and let the two of them duke it out but I know I will have to fork out therapy sessions for the older one since she will have some MAJOR self-esteem issues knowing her younger sister forced her into an arm-bar, yelling "TAP OR I'LL SNAP" in her sweet lil' voice.  Okay, take your corners, girls!

So, hair in a ponytail, sweats in tow (all of us) and barely brushed teeth, we decide to go to my classroom.  I was ambitiously thinking I could make it over there for 2 hours and have the girls watch a movie while I worked.  I packed snacks, bottles, blankets, animals, a stroller and a kitchen sink just to make sure I could get some work done.  After a quick stop at Redbox for two **new** movies, I thought we were in the money.  Right...  After some guilt-laden conversation about "how long daddy's been gone" we headed to the fire station for a quick visit.  Poor guys.  They can't keep us away from there.  We were just there Phil's last tour and lo' and behold, we must visit again.  I always feel terrible when we are there too often because, really, that's why they GO to work... to get a break!  Luckily they got a call and had to rush out so I forced the children back into the car and on our way.  Okay... to school we go... not yet...  There was something in the air... I felt the need to pay myself in advance with a Starbucks, anticipating what lied ahead of me.  That something wafted its way up my nose in between the delicious scent roasted beans as if to taunt me say, "just you wait..."

Snapshot:  TV cart in classroom, sound blaring, snacks all over the floor...  Baby crying in stroller, can't find bottle, poop up to his shoulder blades...  Found bottle! Feed, but wrong nipple on the end...  Feeding turns into gagging with a small amount of food consumption... Turns out to be a LOT of food consumption when he threw up ALL of it on himself, myself and the floor...  Spit-up...poop... poop some more... poop from Maia... marker on pants... marker on face... marker on tables... highlighter on whiteboard... stamps on EVERYTHING... Maia grading math papers... stacks of paper strewn everywhere... Maia grading papers the students haven't even done... Me under my desk curled in a ball... stamps on my forehead... marker on my arms... bodily fluids on my shirt and pants... clinging to a bottle of Jack Daniels... eyes bloodshot... hair frazzled...

I say all of this with the very real understanding that I would never trade days like this for anything.  Because in the cluster that can be our life, I am hit in the face with moments that take my breath away.  Like today, when all I wanted was for the lil' prince to go to sleep, he reached up simply to touch my face and spit out his binky to give me an amazingly heart-melting smile.  Or when the very first sound I heard in the morning was the pitter-patter of spry little feet dancing across the hardwood, anxious to get to my bedroom... followed by the second sound I heard, "Good mornin' momma!"  I love my children, love my husband, love this CRAZY life we created.

But where am I right now??  I haven't worked out since Tuesday (need to sweat the crazy outta me everyday!!), ate too much pizza for dinner last night, my only *real* meal today was my first one (oatmeal w/ protein powder), two kids are only in diapers & fighting my overwhelming desire for them to sleep, I pawned one off on a neighbor but I secretly know she was DES.PER.ATE! to get out of the line of fire, I already dealt out two spankings today and feel more coming, my dishwasher is open and filled with dishes, my bedroom floor is covered with sorted piles of laundry, my living room floor is covered in goldfish crumbs and soy nuts, my kitchen floor is covered in dog hair, sticky waffle pieces and MY hair (that seems to be coming out by the wig-full), and I haven't even paid attention to what's upstairs.  If you are missing a child, puppy or satellite, it may be residing in the upper half of our house.  I don't even want to talk about the bathrooms, though half of what **should** be going in there seems to be going on me... --SIGH-- 

So, I am going to stay under this desk, with my bottle of Jack, add some brown and black to the marker already covering my skin, put some tape to my hair and maybe some sticky notes to my a** and maybe I'll look like a forgotten art project and be left alone for 5 minutes.

But its another great day at the Desilet homestead!

Here is a fitness update too:
I am down to 146.  Still have some work to do.  BUT I am starting to see the muscles in my shoulders/back come back, my tummy doesn't pooch out so much, my ta-tas are waaaaay smaller (I am happy!) and my saddlebags don't look like they are loaded down quite so much.  Progress is progress, no matter how big or small, right?!

**If I hadn't left my damn camera at school and could figure out how to post from my phone, I would have photo updates too.  Coming soon... I PROMISE!**